I was going back and forth with whether I wanted to share this or not, and then I realized that I want this blog to be about my life and what is happening, and if I am not being honest with myself here, then what am I even doing writing a blog? So, without further adieu, I got rejected last night.
No, not in the sense of dating (I’m happily married, thanks), but I auditioned for this classical music competition last week, and from everything I’ve heard about it (from colleagues who have competed in it before, etc), I figured I’d at least make it into the preliminaries/first round. But, alas, I didn’t. I’m not sure why I’m so surprised, either. I thought I auditioned fine, but the more I reflected on it I realized I was distracted when I was singing – I was focusing on the mucus building up inside my head, and whether the judges were smiling or ‘into me’ or not, and how the other singers who auditioned before me did, and how their rep was compared to mine…. so needless to say, I probably didn’t do my best.
I was a bit disheartened when I received the rejection email, and I may or may not have shed some frustrated tears over it, but today I’m a little bit grateful for it. For one, the ‘Grand Finale’ night of the competition was the same night as one of my best friend’s bridal shower/bachelorette parties (in a different state, mind you), but most importantly I’m grateful for it because it’s made me want to work harder. How can I audition better? How can I make myself a better performer? How can I exude the confidence I need (and have!)?
In looking for a picture for this post (I’m not a fan of ‘just words’ – I want at least something to look at), I came across what you see up top there. I just googled “rejection”, hoping to find something appropriate for how I’m feeling, but I definitely wasn’t expecting that saying. But, you know what? It fits perfectly. Rejection ISN’T fatal. I’m alive. I’m still a singer. I’m still going to sing. That one audition is not going to define me or my future career.
I can do this.